


Twenty-two Years

by Cat_Moon



Category: Moonlight (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 12:38:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19464172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat_Moon/pseuds/Cat_Moon
Summary: Decades have passed. Beth has  moved on a long time ago... but can you ever leave the past behind? A look at getting older, regrets, and the decisions we make.Inspired by… star interviews, cast changes, The Eagles “Lyin’ eyes” and Harry Chapin’s “Taxi.”





	Twenty-two Years

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2008 and posted on the ML forums.

_…I guess every form of refuge has its price…_ _You can’t hide your lying eyes, and your smile is a thin disguise I thought by now you’d realize_ _There ain’t no way to hide your lying eyes_

\--The Eagles, “Lyin Eyes”

Beth Turner-Talbot studied the mirror critically. The lines were getting longer, just like Lola said. Oh, she kept herself in shape, almost obsessively so, and everyone said she looked like she was in her thirties. The truth however, was unavoidable, as the changes made themselves known in her body every day. She was ashamed of the vanity; there was a time when she’d self-righteously criticized the young models she sometimes had to cover for Buzzwire, hating the shallow preoccupation with youth and beauty of the culture. Maybe the wisdom of age had wiped that arrogance from her, but she wasn’t sure what was left in its place.

And Beth still remembered, no amount of time and space could erase that. A wave of missing her old life swept over her; she wondered what her old friends were doing, who was still around. She’d lost touch with everyone since moving to D.C. with Ben two decades ago. It was supposed to be the right thing to do – for everyone. A normal life was what they’d both wanted for her. A future.

Funny how time changes perspective. Now here she was, back in L.A. after twenty two years. Divorced, in that transitional period between who she was then and who she might be now. Not having a clue how to pick up the pieces and start again. Or maybe she did have a clue, but was afraid to find out. Can you recapture the past? Should you?

It had been so long… she could stop by Buzzwire...but no one she knew would be there. Carl Davis had taken a bullet on a case ten years ago, she’d read about it in the paper. Co-workers and friends, moved on to other things, other places. Some retired. Everything was different. Unfamiliar. She wondered why she’d even returned. Maybe because D.C was just a hollow pretend of a life, and without Ben to keep up the pretense, it was pointless to remain. Michaela was grown up and on her own already, attending college abroad. Beth was alone.

The melancholia descended, and she angrily wiped away tears. Regret, hidden away for years, ate away at her. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Her decision was supposed to bring her happiness, normalcy, to grow old together with a partner to share the years with. Instead she’d gotten an ambitious, driven husband who eventually tired of her emotional absence even though his physical absence was a given, and looked elsewhere for his pleasure. They’d had the money, prestige, the comfortable existence… but it was only existing. It wasn’t living, despite her beating heart. So it was sad that he was the one who’d finally asked for the divorce not her, that she’d been willing to settle for such a hollow shell of a life. Now, here she was at forty-eight, alone. Terrified of dying alone. Terrified of dying.

It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way.

XXX

Courage comes in degrees. She didn’t have enough, but she had some. It was desperation to see a familiar face that drove her to the office of his latest business in Van Nuys.

He didn’t keep her waiting; she would have liked a few more minutes to gather her nerves to face him again, but it was only moments before his secretary was back to escort her into the office.

He got up from his chair and came around the desk to her, smiling. “Beth. I couldn’t believe it when I smelled it was you,” he quipped.

Beth accepted his welcoming hug, fighting the sting of tears. She’d had no idea if his greeting would be cordial or not. She felt pathetically grateful for the genuine pleasure in his eyes. “Jay Kay?” she queried of his new identity as the head of a communications company.

“Well, you know, shorter names are the thing these days. Short for Julian Kay.”

“I’m surprised you got into the news business.”

“Best way to keep an eye out for potential outings and do damage control is from the inside. You taught me that,” Josef’s eyes twinkled at her.

“I taught _you_ something?” she was absurdly pleased.

“Don’t let it go to your head.” Instead of the ‘what brings you here’ she was expecting, Josef said, “I heard about the divorce. Sorry.”

“Sometimes humans 'happily ever after' isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, huh?” The bitterness in her voice was obvious even to her own ears.

“I tend to see it as ‘sometimes happy but usually miserable until death'. But to each his own.”

“I’m afraid I have to agree with you.”

Josef regarded her a moment before speaking again. “When I first met Mick, I didn’t think he was cut out to be a vampire. I was right, of course.” He gazed at her meaningfully. “And some people aren’t cut out to be mortal.” She suddenly felt as if he was seeing into her soul, reading her thoughts and feelings. This 400 year old vampire, wise beyond imagining but wearing a boyish grin, _knew_ her. It reminded her of Lola.

And the pull was there again, tugging at her. Or maybe it had been there all along, and over the years of ruthlessly pushing it down she’d finally tired of the struggle. She suddenly wanted to unburden herself to this man. She felt like she’d been living a lie for 22 years; someone else’s life. A fake smile plastered on her face so long she came to think of it as real. Interviewing politicians and investigating political dealings pretending she actually _enjoyed_ it. And for what? She didn’t know anymore. She wanted to tell him Mick was still the first thing she thought about when she woke up in the morning and the last thing at night. That he would undoubtedly be her last thought before death. She wanted to scream, to ask him why. She wanted to cry. But this was Josef; she could do none of those things. He wasn’t the person she should be bringing them to anyway. Question was, was Mick?

“How is he?” she finally said.

“Oh, you know Mick. Same old stick in the mud. He’ll be happy to see you.”

Assuming she was going to be seeing him. Oh, who was she kidding, Josef had her number. “Will he?”

“Yes.” The certainly in Josef's tone reassured her beyond measure. It was a benediction, forgiveness, welcome.

For the first time in many years, Beth's smile was genuine. “It’s great to see you again, Josef.”

“Go see him now, he’s waiting for you.” Josef walked her to the door with an arm around her. “The three of us’ll get together soon, kick back a few single malts and talk about old times.”

“Can’t wait.” And she meant it. Impulsively, she gave him a big hug, then left the office, feeling lighter than she had in longer than she could remember.

“Hey, Lois Lane,” he called to her as she walked down the hall. “Now that you’re back in town, if you need a job give me a call. I’m always in the market for decent reporters.”

XXX

Beth stood, slightly incredulously in front of the same door she’d last stood in front of over twenty years ago; only the artwork in the hall was different, more current. She raised her hand, touching her fingers to the familiar lettering: “Mick St. John – Private Investigations.”

God if it wasn’t like coming home.

Still, the nerves assaulted her again as she knocked. Doubt, regret, anger and more, battling for dominance.

The door opened immediately, and finally, she was face to face with Mick again. Her breath caught in her throat. There he was, standing there exactly the same as she remembered; tall, dark, beautiful, still feeling like a safe harbor. She wanted so much to prevent the tears that gathered in her eyes, but it was impossible. The years had changed that too, she wasn’t able to hide her emotions so well anymore. It was like stepping back in time, erasing all the years gone by, or recapturing them. It was overwhelming; it was too much.

“I hate you.” For his eternal beauty, for not stopping her from leaving, for his vampire cool, for _everything_.

“It was your choice to leave,” Mick reminded her as he stepped aside for her to enter.

Beth took in the office décor as she walked through into the apartment. She was surprised to see the place was the same… but not surprised.

Mick correctly interpreted her train of thought. “Guess I’m a creature of habit as well as the night. Some things never change. I actually find it rather comforting.”

It was so refreshing to see some familiar faces, looking exactly the same as she remembered (even if the clothing styles had changed some). As if the long years had been erased, the days she remembered as the best of her life were still there.

“I know what you mean, actually. I do, too,” Beth admitted. “But is it safe?” She tried to ignore the twinge of something selfish; she’d always held a secret belief that he’d stayed in L.A. all those years for _her_.

Mick shrugged. “Actually, I did relocate for a few decades. I’m more careful now. I just got back not too long ago.”

_Oh my god._

This huge unspoken thing lay between them. How deep did her denial run? How could she not have known? Had she known?

And if it was true, had he heard her when she’d woken up in the middle of the night calling his name?

The tears again, she couldn’t seem to get rid of them, these days. “Mick…”

“Michaela is beautiful. She looks just like you. Keep her away from the vampires,” he joked.

“Actually, I’ve told her when she finds true love to hold onto it...no matter what the complications. I don’t want her to make the same mistakes her mother did.”

“Why are you here?” Mick asked her bluntly. The hope was clear in his expression, despite his abrupt words.

Hope. _How could he possibly want...?_

“I’m old now…” she couldn’t stop herself from the agonized whisper. Feeling silly, really, she was only forty eight. But when the life you live is devoid of happiness and love, it feels like life is already over by then.

Mick shook his head. Slowly, deliberately, he moved closer to her. Close enough to touch, he reached out and framed her face with his hands. “No, you’re not. And you’re still beautiful. Especially to me.”

Beth had spent too many years living a lie to do it for a single more moment of time. Her errors had been learned from, whatever wisdom gained hard won. “Could you really still want me after all these years?”

“You forget, to a vampire, twenty years isn’t a long time.”

“Is that a yes?” she asked, hitting him in the arm and laughing through her tears.

He smiled. “Always.” It was a vow.

Mick’s lips felt like a lightning strike, coursing through her body down to her toes. How could she have lived without this for all this time? Without him? The pain of the last decades broke the dam of her denial and hit her all at once, almost bringing her to her knees. Only his strong arms held her up.

“Please,” she begged. “I’m ready.” She wanted so much more time, a second chance to do things right. To be with this man finally. Forever. She put her arms around his neck, her head in his shoulder. “I don’t want to die. Don’t let me leave you again…”

“My love…” was the last thing she heard him whisper before she felt his fangs pierce the skin of her neck.

_If you love something, let it go_

_If it comes back to you, it is yours_

_If it doesn’t, it never was_

**The end**

4/19/08


End file.
